My DA Statement Regarding Recent Events

My Statement. CarnalClown (Andrea)



First of all, I want to apologize in advance for the explosive journal I posted on my Facebook page and here on Deviantart. I was severely emotional and not in a right state of mind to accommodate rational decisions. Doing thins in such a manner is extremely childish and I honestly should have taken an hour to decide how to go about handling the situation. I accept the consequences of my actions.

In my defense, I have planned this journal to be an extensive and detailed account of my experience the last three weeks and why I came to the decision that I did. Plus there are a lot of confused Deviants who are unaware of the backstory and may need this to make a proper decision themselves regarding me or the other party.

As everyone obviously knows, my previous friend - Mysterio-san (Jo) is the subject of my scorn and wrath. I’m not going to hide it and keep hers and my name anonymous because it’s pointless now. I’m now calm and collected and ready to share my evidence with all of you. Also there will be some documentation that I personally have, but it is unknown to me how to copy and paste pictures into a journal, but with confidence I can provide this evidence if anyone asks me to in a private setting.

Here is where I’ll begin…

From the beginning of this year I have been planning a trip for Mysterio-san to join me in Arizona for a much needed vacation. The original plan was for her to go to Phoenix comic con with me and then immediately begin her job hunt so she could better her life. Her plane ticket was a buddy pass provided by my friend David who works for Southwest airlines, which only cost $40.00 to obtain. An expense I took upon myself because I knew she needed the assistance and she had a lot of issues with her family to get the funding. I also gave her $25.00 is gas money to help her mother get her to the airport. Her dad, meanwhile was trying to get her to visit some friends of his who live in another part of Phoenix, to which she DID NOT want to visit at all! I also supplied her with her ticket to comicon and the ticket for the Geek Prom within the convention. In addition to these finances, my husband and I took her to the aquarium, out to dinner a couple times, and the movies to see Godzilla. There is a long list of things that we did to keep her occupied in addition to her job hunt. This is only the beginning…

Everything started out just fine up until day 4 of the convention (Sunday) when the whole communication problem began. Now I know for a fact that I informed Jo of poor signals within the convention center, particularly in the basement where the vendors are and in the large conference room with over 10,000 seats. There were 77,000 people there this year confirmed in attendance and so the resulting overload of phones really eats up the signal. The only place you can really manage to get signals is in the hallways near windows and on the very top floor and maybe the cafe. Everywhere else is soundproofed or underground. What happened Sunday: I had a photo op with Stan Lee and my son. My husband couldn’t attend because he came down with the flu. My mother also accompanied me and helped to care for my son while I was walking around in costume. Also please note that Jo was carrying a book bag that belonged to me to keep personal items in that belonged to me and her. I had my phone and credit cards on my person in a tiny bag under my costume. Jo had my Jim Butcher book that we planned to get autographed for my hubby because he was too sick to meet Jim Butcher himself.
Jo decided to go off on her own and look around and my mom and I stayed in line to wait for pictures. So to make things easier, I gave my mother my phone and my credit cards to hold for me because I couldn’t get to them easily without taking off my entire costume. After the photo was done, my mother, son, and I went upstairs to catch the Stan Lee panel and the Danny Glover panel because they were back to back. I told Jo we’d be in the ball room to view them. So the panels finish and mom and I go back down to the vendor to look around. I saw Jim Butcher’s booth and decided to grab his autograph before I forgot and made my hubby sad. But I suddenly remembered, “Jo has my book! Omg! Crap!” So my mother quickly fetched out my phone and gave it to me to send a text to her, which went along the lines of “Please come down to the vendor room. You have my book.” After this I suddenly realized there were messages on my phone that I did not get from her over the past few hours complaining of being lost/scared. I had no idea she was in tears. I personally started to panic because I didn’t think she’d receive my message the same way I didn’t get hers till then. After maybe ten minutes, I finally saw her and got excited to see her so I exclaimed, “There you are!” But I suddenly found myself having a bookbag shoved into my face and her yelling “I”M GOING HOME” at me, leaving me completely stunned and embarrassed in front of my mother, my son, my friend Todd, Jim Butcher, and other con-goers. She had taken her phone and her wallet out and left me with everything else. I started to cry and my mother tried to calm me down. Todd desperately tried to text Jo for me on his phone, but she wouldn’t respond to us. When she finally responded to Todd, her text read along the lines of “Why isn’t Andrea texting me herself and sending you to do it?” So I stood there bawling my eyes out in front of Jim Butcher giving him some bullshit excuse for my tears and trying so hard not to look like a fool in front of him. But I got my hubby’s autograph and I had a moment of happiness for him.

After walking around the vendor room a bit a trying to calm myself, Jo finally texted me to speak to her in private because she was afraid of being attacked by my friends and family. Which was not the case. My mother was annoyed by what Jo did to me and so was Todd, but they had no intentions of telling her off. When I finally got up to the second floor balcony, Jo asked me if I was ignoring her, to which I replied “No,” and gave her my version of the story about no signals again and that my phone was in my mother’s purse. I took a part of the blame to make the rest of the vacation run smoother, but ever since that book bag incident, I’ve walked on eggshells. However it doesn’t end here. I went downstairs into the cafe to join my mother and Todd and let her know I smoothed it over and I suddenly I a frantic text that Jo lost her wallet. I smacked my forehead because the first thing in my mind is she wouldn’t have lost it if she didn’t take it out of the backpack and stormed off. I spent the last 2 hours of my time at the convention center jumping from security desk to security desk trying to help her find it. I personally gathered all security phone numbers and notified the personnel of the missing wallet. In the meantime Jo told me she contacted those friends of her father and I, being the gracious one, told her if she wanted to stay with them, she could. I’m not going to dictate who she spends her time with. So she was picked up outside the convention and was gone, leaving me internally conflicted.

It also bothered me that I discovered on Jo’s facebook page, a post reading, “I HAVE NEVER FELT SO IGNORED IN ALL MY LIFE!” I was not happy to see this and after we “fixed” the issue at con, I asked her to remove that post because it hurt my feelings.

What I later found out about the incident on Sunday from Jo directly is that she actually DID find me and my mother in the ballroom! She spotted us sitting towards the back, but security told her to “move along” because the doors she attempted to come in were the EXIT doors to Stan Lee’s panel. Immediately Jo gave up and walked away again rather than ask the security guard where the ENTRANCE doors were. So she neglected to ask for help. “Move Along” does not mean “Go Away” and the panel is open to anyone with a badge, which she had on.

Everything that happened on Sunday was SELF-INFLICTED but she did a pretty good job blaming me or security because:  how the hell is a guard supposed to know where Andrea is? -(taken from Skype messages).

Well Jo, all you had to do was ask where to enter! I was sitting right there in plain sight as you put it! But I suppose it was too much work. You walked away and got yourself lost again.

Did I also mention that she disappeared during the Geek Prom? I found her outside on her phone, lying across a couch! So much for enjoying that ticket or dancing with me!

So convention is over. Jo is over at that other family’s house. I have no idea how things are going over there. But apparently she got pretty annoyed with one of their toddler kids because of how rambunctious he is. She told me she’d rather stay with me so not to deal with the kid. She had dinner with them for two nights and that was it other than catching up with stories about her dad. The few days following con, I am completely wiped out from wearing my costume and carrying that hammer and I found myself super tired and falling asleep left and right. I must have drank gallons of water and rested on my chair the most. I also started school back up and had a paper due (750-1000 words) in addition to 2 discussion questions. So in my downtime, I did my homework and watched Jo play Fatal Frame 3. She played off and on for hours, splitting the time spent between watching youtube, Raising Hope tv show, playing Fatal Frame 3, and texting on her phone. So no time was spent in my house searching for jobs, career fairs, or even asking me to take her out to do something. She waited entirely on me to plan her activities for the day when I didn’t have time for it! Between homework, a toddler, and entertaining a guest, that’s a lot, especially when I also needed to take my son to therapy. She went with me to see what it was and appeared to like it I guess. There was no effort on her part to plan her trip. I had to do it all. Seriously, who goes on a trip without having a plan of action and depends entirely on the host to do everything?

So the weekend arrives again and my aunt is in town visiting. I’m desperate to see my aunt and my family plans a trip to Lake Pleasant on Sunday. We all told Jo that she is invited of course, but she declined and decided to go to that other family’s house again. She said something about not wanting to be seen in a swim suit even though I assured her my family doesn’t care. So she left and I spent my time with my family. Before the lake trip though, my aunt was kind enough to treat us all (including Jo) to IHOP for dinner. No ‘thank you’ was ever given to my aunt from Jo. Very nice…

In the days leading up to our movie Godzilla, Brian (my husband) and I took Jo to the aquarium to see the fish and pet sting rays. My mother and aunt accompanied us then too and they joined us another day for a trip to the outlet mall and my aunt knew of the school program Jo had taken all throughout last year, so my aunt and I kept trying to engage Jo in conversation to see if my aunt could be of some assistance in helping her find a company to hire her in medical coding. Jo barely answered her questions and then would go straight back to her text messaging. My aunt and I tried several times…eventually we gave up. We tried and that’s what counts.

During Jo’s stay, the assortment of places my family had taken Jo was pretty good, we brought her to the convention (4 days total), the aquarium, the movies, Book mans, Total Wine and spirits, world market, (attempted) the lake, a specialty boutique 3 times to try on corsets together, desert ridge, barnes and noble, (went to her other family’s home for 4 days), my son’s therapy appointments (probably not much fun but whatever), gamestop (she bought 2 games using my discount), met my bosses and friends at work, though she didn’t say much, brought her to deer valley to try an old fashioned oven-fired pizza, and we had board game nights where we played Clue, cards, etc. Is this not enough? I was down to my final 20 bucks and incapable of doing anything else by the time she went home! Granted she paid for a few of her own meals at times because there was no way I could after spending so much already!

Jo’s time spent in my company, I thought went well until the flight home. I was kind of confused when she didn’t show much emotion going through security after bawling so much the night before and complained about really liking AZ and not wanting to leave. Her flight home was delayed a lot because of some weather/pilot/engine problems and she got bumped once, which is normal for a buddy pass. Buddy passes take a back seat to actual paid tickets, so I worked very closely with David (airport buddy) to get her rebooked and we did, but we had no idea how many problems she would have at a connecting flight. At least she got home in one piece with her luggage. I was relieved to see her facebook post when she finally got home, because I was terrified she’d get trapped in the airport overnight, which happened to me in NJ when I was a teenager. But the post seemed kind of negative because she emphasized the time she went to bed - around 2:30 a.m. Okay, I know she is tired so I left a few encouraging posts and told her I was sorry for the delay.

So three days or so pass and there is no contact from her, so I thought she might be irritated with me about the long flight home. But then I got a comment yesterday which said she was all and well and so I relaxed and just assumed maybe I was thinking about it too much and we can just go about our lives as normal. I told her well before she left though that if she needed a temporary place to stay when she found a job here, she could crash here and I’d help her find an apartment once she established a few paychecks. I felt better and she probably was happy to be home because she seemed homesick by the time of the end of the vacation.

To my extreme disappointment, THAT JOURNAL of hers appeared and when I read it, I was stunned, upset, angry, and seriously hurt. The next thing I knew I was running to my bedroom to show the post to my husband and he was equally upset and insulted that we were not mentioned in her post at all!!! SHE WAS RAVING ABOUT THE FAMILY SHE DID NOT WANT ANYTHING TO DO WITH! If anyone else was in my position, they too would be equally offended and upset. So I posted my anger-filled journal without giving much thought to the consequences and here we are now.

Now that you have my side of the story I must say that I’m extremely saddened that I have to post this next portion, but it must be done because it explains a GREAT DEAL MORE.

I learned through extremely reliable sources that Jo’s original journal was planned in advance and that there is a lot of nasty talk from her about how she hated the trip and felt neglected and ignored. So basically I didn’t do enough and these posts I’m about to share with you below are real posts taken from Deviantart from Jo. Please read them carefully and decide for yourself who is truly at fault for the ENTIRE DA scuffle. Also note that I have all this saved and ready to screen shot at a moment’s notice from DA. It turns out Jo was seeking advice from a wise person, but Jo did not follow this wise person’s advice at all and practically shot herself in the foot. This is also a person that Jo was texting all along during her trip. So it explains a lot as to why she spent 75% of her vacation texting. It was because she was complaining about me the whole time!

The Offending Statements (copy-pasted from DA) are below. Also, I want to let you know that Mysterio-san (Jo) was warned by another DA member NOT to post that journal because it was a dangerous move. That is below too.





PAY VERY CLOSE ATTENTION TO THE LAST PART OF THIS PASSAGE, BECAUSE ITS THE KICKER!

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Mysterio-san said the following:

I just feel like her husband is just going to get really defensive with her, and I want the whole things just between me and her; not her husband. I tried to confront an issue with her in person before, but one of her family members got involved and defensive with her.

When I get back, I'm definitely going to be thinking about my frienship with her, whether or not I still want to be friends with her. I mean, why invite me down there if you're mostly going to push me to the side? Did she just want me to boost her damn ego?

I don't know if I'll ever meet anyone else online. I can't take being hurt like this for a third time with close friends. Friends and family mean the WORLD to me. I would NEVER make them feel unloved or unwelcome.

Part of me wants to do a journal about my whole trip, and not mention Andrea at all in it, just to see what her reaction will be. But... who knows. Maybe she won't react at all.




(Below is the message from the wise person who tried to dissuade Jo from posting the journal that started this mess! The person's name is not here for her privacy).

- - - - - - -

...I feel like...perhaps you could try doing the journal thing to downplay that you're unhappy? But that's playing with fire, Jo. You probably shouldn't. You should talk to her first.






AND THERE YOU HAVE IT FOLKS! I WAS COMPLETELY BAITED!!! Nice huh? She posted that journal on purpose!!! Wanted a reaction, Jo? YOU GOT IT! I have it saved to my notes if anyone wants a screenshot. But I have the proof I need to determine that she started this argument! If she actually took the wise person’s advice and refrained from posting and contacted me first, this never would have happened!!!!! It was self-inflicted nonsense on Jo’s part and I refuse to reconcile with someone so dishonest! And not only that, I got wind today that Jo is dumping and trashing on all the friends we both shared by giving them an ultimatum!!! Either MY friends stop being friends with me, or Jo cuts them loose from her friends list. Seriously? Who does this? What kind of “friend” makes their friends choose between two people? REALLY? Who??!


This next set of messages was taken from Skype (which I can also screen shot in a heartbeat from my Skype and DA), Jo ditching a friend we’ve shared for years. Basically hurting them terribly and breaking their heart just because they wanted to remain friends with both of us! My poor friend contacted me in tears.

From Jo: (with dates and times listed at the bottom) and all these directed at one person.

How am I supposed to know all this if she doesn't TALK to me. First off: I texted my family the day BEFORE I came home. My parents are super anal if I don't text them back right away.
2nd: how the hell is a guard supposed to know where Andrea is?
3rd: I don't know what is in Arizona! HOw am I supposed to know what things are in Arizona if I know nothing about it?
I kept asking her what are good places to go and she took me to the zoo. I really loved it there.
4th: I came back 2:30 AM after my flight. I was dead tired and SICK. I TOLD her this.
I slept over 14 hours after that, in and out of sleep.
But it's fine you know.
What she did to me just shows the kind of person she really is.
Unfortunately, I'm cutting all ties to her.
I can't take ANYTHING that has to do with her.
No one should stand by someone who did to me what she did.
I can't be friends with anyone that wants to be friends with her.
She hurt me BADLY.
She said hurtful things about me, on DA and on FAcebook and even linked backed to me.
There are people who won't talk to me now, all because of what she did.
I don't want to cry again.
I really don't. I would of done ANYTHING to save the friendship, but obviously I'm nothing to her now.
Someday I'll repay her goddamn money.
I'm really sorry.
I know you want to continue to be friends with her.
but I can't be friends with people who want to be friends with her.
She hurt me so bad.
I never been hurt like that from a friend. Never.
Screw the girl that wanted me dead. We were slowly drifting apart anyway. Now I know why.
But I NEVER been hurt like this. What Andrea did to me was unforgivable and childish.
Yeah, but she didn't take down her journals, did she?
I'm sorry.
It hurts for me to say this, it really does, but I can't be friends with those willing to stand by her.
What she did to me was horrible.
Her so-called "apology" is too late.
She couldn't even be an adult and talk to me.
but she did something horrible to me.
There are people who hate me, and people have unwatched me from my account.
Bullies do those types of things.
I don't want you to be in the middle. And I don't want you to choose.
So I'm doing it for you.
I'm really sorry.
But my friends think that those that are willing to stand by Andrea are just as bad.
I know you're not like that.
but I can't stand seeing a great friend still be friends with her.
Especially a person who tosses out friendships like they're NOTHING.
And if she hurt you. Someday she might, I can't bear it to see you as hurt as I am.
I'm sorry.
It hurts.
but I hate Andrea so much.
For making me feel this way.
We were best friends, and she doesn't even care about me anymore. Just like that.
All she cares about is herself. She doesn't care who she hurts. As long as it's not her or her family.
Friends mean everything to me just as much as family.
So what Andrea did... was like dying.
Now she's going to pretend like I don't exist. You know how much it hurts when suddenly your best friend just HATES you?
I don't hate you.
I'm... angry I guess, but I don't hate you.
I hate Andrea.
but I know you're not like that.
but when I see entries on your Facebook where you have a great time with Andrea, you know how much that hurts?
I'm not mad at you. I'm mad at the fact that Andrea just doesn't care about anyone but herself.
and someday you all will see it too like I have.
The trip just only proved it.
I won't go into details. I'm sure Andrea told you her version already. What's mine going to matter.
I'm going to be shutting my Facebook down and changing my number. I can't bare the fact that Andrea knows all this stuff.
I have to erase everything of her.
and of me, because she ruined me.
That's how much she hurt me. And it pains me that she just as easily erases me from her life without a given thought.
I'm leaving DA. I'm leaving Facebook. Hell, I'm leaving most of the internet.
I'm done with it all. Been hurt too many times.
I know.
I'm not mad at you.
but it hurts seeing you having fun with Andrea.
You have no idea how much it hurts she doesn't give a shit about me.
Well... she won.
You can tell her she fucking won. She broke me.
She got her wish by "punishing" me on the internet, and she won.
I hate to say this, but I hope karma bites her someday. I really do.
Other than that.
You've been a great friend to me. I've known you longer than ANYBODY on DA.
I'll come find you if your friendship with Andrea ever turns sour.

[6/23/14, 12:13:48 PM]: That's how much she hurt me. And it pains me that she just as easily erases me from her life without a given thought.
[6/23/14, 12:16:52 PM]: I'm not mad at you,
but it hurts seeing you having fun with Andrea.
You have no idea how much it hurts she doesn't give a shit about me.
Well... she won.
[6/23/14, 12:18:55 PM] You've been a great friend to me. I've known you longer than ANYBODY on DA.
[6/23/14, 12:20:00 PM] I'll come find you if your friendship with Andrea ever turns sour.
[6/23/14, 12:27:53 PM]: I've never been dumped like this by a friend before




I don’t know how much more black and white a person could be. So because she caused so many of her own problems, Jo is taking ALL OF THIS out on me. And she’s punishing all of her friends for what she did. At this point, she can’t salvage our relationship because I don’t take well to people who lie and dump others to the point of tears the way she did. Please take your time in analyzing this extremely lengthy journal and make up your mind for yourselves. Whatever your decision, I’ll respect it accordingly. Just please please don’t think badly about the people who got dragged into this mess and go about your lives as usual. Even if you decide to block me, I’ll admire your writings, artwork, music, etc from afar.

Also, since Jo called bullshit on me about the reception at comicon, here is a website that explains why I’m returning her call out on me - www.complex.com/tech/2012/07/h…. I was in the vending room in the basement and in the large ballroom that seated 10,000+ people. Thank you.

On a final note, to anyone ever caught in a situation like this….be careful what you type into your journals because it will come back to haunt you. You’re right Jo, Karma IS a bitch and you sealed your own fate.